The Book of Ratings on Superman's Powers

"Super Breath

"Yes, Superman has super breath. He can inhale and exhale large amounts of air without swelling up like Daffy Duck connected to a bicycle pump. We're dealing here with a man who can travel between the stars, who can change the course of mighty rivers, who can, in certain incarnations, reverse the flow of time itself. When does this guy encounter a problem that leaves him with no recourse but to breathe on it? At any rate, any potential uses are automatically offset by the fact that it's called 'super breath.' D"

--The Book of Ratings

Move Over, Batman

"#1. The Black Condor

"Do please sit down, because this one is a doozy. Little Richard Grey was born in Mongolia during a scientific expedition his parents were members of. The expedition was attacked by bandits and everyone died except for baby Richard, who was later found and raised by condors. If huge carrion eating birds don't know how to raise a baby, then who does?

"Not bad for a bird that doesn't even live in Mongolia, or anywhere near Asia for that matter.

"By the way, did we mention that the condors taught him how to fly? Yes, apparently being raised by birds means you can slap aerodynamics in the face.


"Richard only has the power to fly and possibly also the power to eat rotten dead things."


--Juan Arteaga, "The 7 Crappiest 'Super Heroes' in Comic Book History," Cracked.com

Comic Book Heroes

Batman Hates Ice Cream

Pimp Boots

Courtesy of Dave's Long Box.

Spider-Man by Jay Pinkerton

JayPinkerton.com