Ninja do not sleep; they wait.
Ninja can change clothes in less than one second.
When it rains, ninja do not get wet; the rain gets ninjaed.
Bullets dodge ninja.
Ninja can breathe underwater anytime they want.
Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless.
Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.
Ninja always land on their feet. If they do not have feet, then they land on their nubs.
Ninja tears cure cancer. Too bad they never cry.
A ninja always moves to America when attempting to make a new start as a non-assassin.
Ninja can crush golf balls with two fingers. . . any two fingers.
Ninja do not play sports. Unless killing is a sport.
Ninja swords are always straight. Always. Curves are for girls.
Ninja lack any personality.
A ninja can remove a spleen in one swift motion.
Ninja invented skateboarding.
Ninja live in your house secretly for days.
A ninja can obliterate his shadow if necessary.
Ninja go anywhere they want instantly.
Ninja kill themselves if they make a noise.
Ninja can run one hundred miles on their hands.
Ninja can hover for hours.
Ninja split planks vertically with their noses.
Ninja can hide in incense smoke.
Ninja are allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Ninja do not wear Spandex.
In an average living room, there are 1,242 objects a ninja could use to kill you, including the room itself.
If you see a ninja, he is not a ninja.
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